We’ve more than doubled the amount of food we’ve given out, from around $500 a week to well over $1500 in some weeks. We give to two homeless shelters, a shelter for homeless pregnant women, on our traditional corner on 14th and Farnam in Omaha Nebraska as well as adopting 6 families for direct distribution.

Easter weekend I did not deliver to the corner, because, historically speaking, we usually have only a handful of people (none one time) on the corner and I was really pressed for time with all of my schoolwork. And so we delivered to the homeless shelters and families and left it at that. And that’s when it stung me…guilt.

Now, honestly, who delivers food to the homeless while on a tight schedule and actually feels bad about that? But I wondered about the one or two who might have been on the corner that time. There have been times where people have gratefully said that it was the first meal they had had in over 3 days. So, what about them?

And that’s a dangerous place to be. It leads to burn out, and it’s not very well rooted biblically. We are to look after our fellow man and be the body of Christ, or as Christians are so fond of saying these days “Be the church”. But there comes a time where we begin to think too much of what we’re doing, and it’s easy to do. Now that we’re somewhat established, compliments are easier to come by. We seldom get the “Why are you doing that? Aren’t there already people who do that?” and outright hostility to the things we do as we once did. So it’s easier to get caught up in that and see ourselves as more important than we are.

A Messiah complex is a pitiful substitute for a kind heart.

Early on, I had a safety valve for this. I was working with Starfish ministries, and as much as I loved what I was doing, I made the determination to not do it once a month, to remind myself that the world turns by Gods hand, not mine, and it will continue to turn with or without me. But when I took on this ministry, it became important to gain the trust of the people who were on the corner, to show them that I wasn’t going to come for awhile and then quit. It became important for me not to take that time off.

It’s not that I’ve never missed a Sunday. I have. But I’ve never given myself permission to do it. So I’m going to begin working with the people on the corner and my church to allow more flexibility in my schedule on the corner and possibly with delivery to all of our other friends in the shelters, etc. If we open our ministry up to more people, while maintaining those relationships, we might actually begin to accomplish more and yet allow ourselves some time to breathe.

I was asked to write a personal statement for my psychology class, and I decided to also put it here to show, in the words of Big Idea, “Why we do what we do”:

My interest in public service began in the late years of my high school career. I had a dynamic teacher who began to unravel the potential inherent in the field of psychology to change lives, direct the future, not only of individuals, but collectively, nations and to understand a little more about life itself. When an equally influential pastor joined my church, it provided another outlet for my imagination to consider what was possible in our world and the depth of the need that had to be served.

When my wife and I lost our first and second children to miscarriage, we found ourselves defenseless against a harsh medical establishment who would not allow us the right to inter their remains in keeping with our traditions. Initially we pulled back to be alone in our grief, but after a period of mourning we turned to confronting this issue so that other parents would not have to suffer the same indignity we had. We found an ally and friend in our struggle in a first time state senator, who not only worked with us but made our law his priority for the legislative year. Our argument was powerful enough to convince the medical establishment that had earlier denied our rights to join our request for these legal protections. When all the dust settled, we had created protection for parents to inter the remains of their miscarried children as they saw fit.

I began to organize and inform parents from all around the nation how to pass similar legislation in their own states and slowly it became apparent that this was a silent crisis in our society and my wife and I devoted ourselves to finding solutions. Whole families were losing cohesion under the stress, finding themselves homeless, sometimes divorced, and nearly always, eventually, alone. At first I worked within the efforts of a church I helped to found near this time, but eventually I felt called to get the experience of working with people in a more hands-on way. I joined the work of a ministry that was working downtown, one on one with individuals and families that had found themselves homeless. I had barely enough time to discover how the ministry worked before they decided to shift their focus to other ways to impact the growing population of the homeless and near homeless. I stepped forward, took over and expanded the sources of food that existed in corporate America. Always in conjunction with my wife, we delivered over one hundred thousand dollars of aid within a 2 and a half year period. We adopted a world view that emphasized a model of service that lent itself much more to replication than expansion. Despite our success, I began to see that I needed to expand my knowledge and credentials and so I began a bachelors program in the area of Psychology.

A keen sense of skepticism has kept me honest as I learn and apply the knowledge I gain. As I have studied I have continually evaluated each lesson as it comes with the question of how it could pertain to the issues I had been witness to. I have conducted surveys, conducted experiments and even role played on the streets of my city to see how homeless people are actually treated.

I retain my conviction that people helping people, hands-on, holds the most hope for dragging a world crippled by conflict, apathy and sometimes despair into the light.

Today at 8am we picked did our first Baker’s pick up!!!!
I just finished cleaning up the vegetable donations from Baker’s and I decided to take a break by writing a little bit!
We are so grateful to Baker’s for allowing us to do this on Sundays!
We got a lots of apples and pears, lettuce and cauliflower on top of some great bakery items.
Some of the cookies and bread will go to the corner where we meet up with the needy every week and, as usual, we will have some personal care items sent by our aunt in Idaho. The rest will go to the Bethlehem house, because I think the amount will be just right!
Oh! And I forgot to mention that some of the food will be delivered later directly to some of the families that Blue Dream adopted last year. Every week we make special packages for each one of them and this week, they will be getting some cakes, cookies and cauliflower!
Now we just have to get ready to go to the corner, and do the rest of our Sunday round!